Scared

largeI am scared beyond belief.  I am one step away from making macaroni necklaces and weaving paper baskets in some insane asylum.  Do they even have insane asylums anymore?  I am in the midst of one of the biggest emotional breakdowns I ever recall having.    I feel so utterly alone, so utterly helpless, so utterly stupid.  I wish it was raining out.  I wish it was night.  I wish it would just end.  I’m exhausted, I’m anxious, I’m shaking, I didn’t think it was possible to cry this much. I want to scream at the top of my lungs.  I want to take all this anger, all this disappointment, all this hatred I am feeling right now and will it out of my body – to banish it from my life – to exile it to never never land.

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2 thoughts on “Scared

  1. If you’re really feeling suicidal, you need to go to a doctor or Emergency Room right away. You WILL get the help you need. I’m worried for you.

  2. Oh how desperately I wish I could grab you and give you a hug! I would tell you that its ok to be scared and feel alone but you are NOT alone! I wish I had the words to tell you and make you see that all you have to do is cry out to Him and God will answer. He can give you a peace that you have never felt before. The night my husband tried to kill himself I couldn’t do anything. I was in utter turmoil and I fell on my knees and I prayed and I prayed. Longest night of my life and before I was filled with peace I was so desperately scared! Life sucks but He is so much BIGGER THAN ANYTHING! I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to preach at you. I don’t even know you but I pray for you all the time. I read your posts and it breaks my heart that I don’t know you personally. You are worth so much more than you think. Here is a song I think you should listen to. I can’t make you but I hope you do ❤ http://youtu.be/VeGNgBwPTMA

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