NOT ASLEEP

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My bedroom is simply – borderline pleasant – no television, no telephone – my Nook would be the closest thing to modern technology in it & I use it for reading.  The colors of my curtains, comforter, are neutral – soft – pleasing to the eye – no clutter – no mess.  A couple unframed paintings lean up against the wall – a couple framed photos on my dresser – a few meaningful momentos on my bureau – not much else.  When I moved into this apartment I told myself that the bedroom would be used for two things, sleeping and sex, it really only sees one of those on a regular basis.

I am fortunate in the fact that I do not have to get up to an alarm clock but one day a week – today!  I think the entire world would be in a much better frame of mind if everyone was allowed to sleep & wake to their internal clocks (a girl can dream can’t she?)

I broke down yesterday before I went out as the “public me” and bought some illegal drugs to get me through the night of having to see SEH and his wife.  My fault.  I will also partake in some illegal drugs today as well hell I am an addict.  My fault.  And it kills me to be depending on drugs.  My fault.   My bank account continues to shrink.  My fault.  I continue on my downward spiral.  My fault.

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