All day I have been trying to work on something that is very important – VERY IMPORTANT. In addition to it being very important it is due this coming Monday. I have known about this and its due date for some time now. I just can not seem to wrap my mind around it – to complete the tasks necessary for it to be finalized. This isn’t something I can not do – it needs to be done – but my mind will just not allow me to do it. So, I am beating myself up about it. Beating myself up about it terribly.
I would just like to sleep even though I slept 10 hours last night. My inability to concentrate even after taking my A.D.D. medication is disheartening. The thought of not being able to finish this and having to put on the “public me” tonight is causing enormous amounts of anxiety but I don’t dare take any of that medication because I believe it will only add to the tiredness.
When am I going to stop being so stubborn and ask for help? Why do I feel I have to do everything on my own – to prove to the world I don’t need anyone! What is it going to take?