I just woke up – literally – 15 minutes ago. I am in my usual position sipping some new coffee (cafe caramel) – waiting for both the legal and not so legal drugs to kick in. Again today I am not feeling very well – sometimes I feel I am going to cough up the reminder of my lungs. Oh well………………….C’est la vie.
Damn………..this coffee is good.
I am being harassed by a very well-meaning Mini Me to go with her to get a mani / pedi / shopping trip to the mall. Ugh. Though my nails certainly could us it the thought of doing anything right now is enough to make me want to go back to bed. I am hoping once the drugs kick in I will feel like going out. Mini Me means well she really does. Mini Me is the closet thing to a daughter to me and for the life of me I can not figure out why she likes “hanging” with me – as she calls it. Mini Me is much younger, prettier, skinnier, healthier and richer than I will ever be. She still has a lot to learn – and when I am with her I tend to treat her like a daughter – correcting her language or choice of terms, questioning her spending habits or choice is boys – as really they are still boys in my eyes.
I have known Mini Me and her sister (with whom I haven’t come up with a cute pseudonym for yet) since they were born and was very close to their mother up until the time she passed away some time ago. Mini Me calls / text me all the time unlike her sister who will on occasion. It’s hard to believe they came from the same set of genes……they are night and day. Anyway – I am getting way off subject – then again I have no idea what the subject is.
I can feel the drugs kicking in and I am starting to think a little trip to the mall with Mini Me won’t hurt. If anything Mini Me keeps me young at heart. One of the things I like best about Mini Me is she is honest – sometimes brutally honest – she doesn’t hesitate to tell me “you look like shit” or “those pants really aren’t for you” or say something like “what’s up with your hair?” She is bright and she is funny and she is beautiful. Mini Me isn’t like most young women I know. She isn’t a bitch and she doesn’t need to put someone else down to feel better about herself. We don’t sit around talking about other people – being bitchy, catty or gossipy – which most women (and some men) do – that can be another post altogether. Mini Me is intelligent and caring and when we are together we laugh a lot.
BUT again I can’t for the life of me figure out why she likes to “hang” with me. Maybe I remind her of her Mom. Maybe I fill a void. Maybe she too realizes how much we are alike. Whatever it is I am glad Mini Me thinks enough of me to want to “hang.” and I think today I will “hang” with her. Mini Me is not aware that the cancer is back and I am putting off telling her as long as I can. I won’t tell her today – today we will go on our mani / pedi / shopping trip to the mall, maybe have some lunch and I will be grateful for the day and the time spent with her.