Wait For Me

With a devilish little voice I say “I dare you to watch this video” – “Double dog dare”

Mornings are particularly tough.  I feel like I am coughing up what is left of my lungs – this morning in no different.  It takes me longer and longer to go through my morning routine and get myself ready.  UGH.  But as the day goes by I tend to feel better and get more done.  Yesterday was a great example of accomplishing a lot but being so exhausted by the end of the day I slept 12 solid hours.  Who the heck sleeps 12 hours?

I love music!  Probably just as much as I love a good book.  If a book or a song can make you cry or make you want more than it has succeeded and did its job.   This song – video does just that.  I’ve been crying all morning.  Bruce has always been one of my favorites way before he shook his ass with Courtney Cox.  And for the record I cried when Clearance Clemens died – for crying out loud I cried when Van Zandt character of the Soparno’s was in a coma (one of the few television shows I enjoyed.)

If I was having a funeral or wake I would have them play this song.  If I ever get married again this will be our wedding song………blahahahahaha……………….now that is funny.

There is a line in this video that says “everyone dreams of a love lasting and true but you and I know what this world can do”

I mentioned in one of my first post that I don’t know if I know what real love is.  Certainly my track record proves that.  I blame a lot of my ideas of what true love is  and “happily ever after” on the media.  Movies, television shows, magazines depict this knight in shining armor – scooping us up – riding off into the sunset to a land of houses with little white picket fences – you know what I mean.  The  old “millionaire giving the prostitute a diamond necklace” syndrome.    I have become cynical and jaded over the years – realizing seriously that that is just a bunch of bullshit.  But please feel free to correct me if you think I am wrong.  Love is hard – relationships are hard – any type of relationship or love be it friends, lovers, family – it’s hard.  You have to take the good with the bad – no one is perfect – that “magical feeling” you first had will eventually fade – someone’s habits might drive you crazy – they are just fucking hard.

Though it is too late for me – I still dream of that kind of love.  The “rescue me, take care of me, love me, protect me, love me no matter what” kind of love.  I think every girl does.

Mini me has been harassing me again this morning (though it is almost afternoon now) asking me to come over her house.  She told me that her and her boyfriend went to the local craft store and got some fresh  supplies and they wanted me to come over and paint.  And I just might take her up on her offer if I can ever get off the couch and do what is necessary for me to go out.

I know this post is kind of all over the place but that is where my head is at this morning.  I’m not feeling well.  I want to feel better but I don’t know if that will ever happen.  I am sad.  I am doing a lot of the “I shoulda – woulda – coulda’s.”  I need to snap out of it.  As much as I tell myself to keep up the positive attitude – enjoy what is left of my life – I can’t help but feel down and out.

4 thoughts on “Wait For Me

  1. I need to come back and listen to this song when the boyfriend isn’t playing his music in the same room… But I’m sorry you feel like it’s too late for you. Surely it’s not? I hate the “coulda…shoulda…woulda’s” they are like a weight that someone ties to your feet before throwing you in a river. Surviving a river is hard enough without all that dragging you to the bottom. I do hope you went and painted with the Mini You, sometimes that’s just the type of thing you need in order to get your head cleared.

  2. Hang in there Darlin, there are a few of us left. My Queen found me and even though I fuck up a lot I can still make her fall in love with me even 19 years later. Respect REDdog

  3. On Tuesday Of Next Week, I Have Too Take My Wife To An oncologist….Clarity As To Why Someone Enters Your Life Isn’t Always Clear…..She has A Complex Ovarian Cyst With A Family History Of Ovarian Cancer……The Universe Hates Me

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