It’s Thanksgiving and the fucking media is driving me crazy – telling me what the perfect Thanksgiving dinner should be and how to set the perfect Thanksgiving day table, with ads for black Friday and Christmas. I would rather stick an ice pick in my ear than go to a store of black Friday. I would rather eat a plate of cockroaches than buy a Christmas gift. I blame myself partly for even having the television on but it is everywhere – radio, internet, even my snail mail is filled with catalogs galore. It is no wonder this time of year has the highest suicide rate.
Last night I had to attend two “public me” events and at one of them I had the pleasure – NOT – of sitting next to a member of the local media who asked me what I was doing for Thanksgiving and I wanted to reach over the armrest and slap the bitch out. Mostly because this same media person wrote nasty shit about me a couple of weeks ago and now she was trying to make nice small talk. Bitch please……………
- SEH is out-of-state with his family for the holiday and I just ignored a telephone call from him.
- The meeting with the person taking my job after the first of the year went well. Blahahaha……….they have no idea what they are in for.
- BFF actually called me yesterday to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving and to see if I was available to get together this weekend. I cried – a lot.
- The ankle/foot thing is feeling much better – not perfect but better.
- I am attempting to cook a couple of dishes today to take with me to Mini me’s house. I don’t think I was a chef in another life.
I use to practice my “attitude of gratitude” daily. I would make a list of all the things I was grateful for everyday. Some days the list would fill the whole page and some days it would have one thing on it – that I was grateful I made it though the day. I don’t know why I stopped doing it. In hindsight – regardless of the cancer, my addictions, stress and being a Hot Mess I really do have a lot to be grateful for.
Today I am grateful / thankful …………..
- for a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food in the fridge
- that I have a car and a garage to park it in
- for the great stock of paints, brushes, canvases and art supplies I have
- that the sun is shining
- I will be spending today with Mini Me and her family
- for the cup of coffee I am sipping, the warm blanket I am wrapped in and the laptop I am typing on
- for early text messages from my brother
I wish anyone who should happen to stumble upon this blog a Happy Thanksgiving. And if you should happen to stumble upon this humble blog remember don’t pay attention to the fuckin media – spend the day doing something that makes you happy. You don’t have to be surrounded by family who drives you crazy or spend endless hours cooking a meal no one will be grateful for – do something for you! And remember – and this comes from someone who is pretty fucked up physically and mentally – you can always find something to be grateful for even if it is just making it through the day.